Transcript of Sinders Sisters Podcast
E4: The emotional roller coaster of saying yes
Is somebody holding you back? Let's talk about it. In this episode, we dive into the all-too-common experience of judgment and negativity, particularly prevalent in the context of weddings. From body image critiques to personality judgments, witnessing someone tear down a loved one can be truly disheartening. We unpack this struggle and explore strategies for supporting brides in finding confidence and joy, especially when selecting their wedding attire. Discover the emotional journey of gown shopping and learn how to communicate effectively with indecisive decision-makers. Join us as we empower brides to embrace their uniqueness and radiate beauty on their special day.
00:00:00:02 - 00:00:06:17
Stacey
Is somebody holding you back? Let's talk about it.
00:00:06:19 - 00:00:48:13
Stacey
Let's see it. It's just. It feels wrong. Like I want to be like. Is somebody holding you back? But I know walking away from this. Do you want more? Is somebody holding you back? Let's talk about it. That’s better.
00:00:48:15 - 00:01:11:15
Meghan
We talk a lot about support. Like, supporting the people around you, being a positive influence in the people around you. I suppose a better way to say it. That's the reason it's impacted our business. All of our businesses are personal, like. So in weddings, how many times have you heard somebody say something atrocious to a bride.
00:01:11:17 - 00:01:13:02
Stacey
Every second day?
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Meghan
00:01:14:02 - 00:01:42:18
Stacey
I would, and that's not a joke. Like, that's not an exaggeration. There is generally I mean, every Saturday there is someone in a party member, a family member, whatever have you, who says something absolutely jaw dropping, makes my blood boil. And you can't say anything because it's not your family. It's not your friend in some other place. But it's upsetting as a another woman watching a woman and watching her face drop.
00:01:42:18 - 00:01:44:13
Stacey
So it happens all time. All the time.
00:01:44:13 - 00:02:05:07
Meghan
Yeah. And like Saturday's the busiest day. I mean, you said, what did you say? Every second day I would go, depending on how busy we are, I'd say every day. Yeah. It's like we've been, especially in the wedding industry. We've been conditioned. Right. Because we've had shows, like I said, just with a dress or like we were seeing the shows that are they're scripted, they're they're meant for drama.
00:02:05:11 - 00:02:21:21
Stacey
Absolutely. If the party went in and oh that's wonderful. Great. And you're watching the show and you're like, well, that's it. Because we're all so used to this big hoopla of like, what you here with us? Sister said about the dress. And then the mom came in and said, like, you want the drama, because that's just what we're conditioned to.
00:02:21:23 - 00:02:39:03
Meghan
Because shows like that came off of reality TV, where there everything is drama, everything keeps us entertained. Yeah. So yeah. So yeah, that's the gist of the dresses. Exactly the same thing came up that time where we. You are the mean sister. You're going to say something terrible, tell her she's fat and then everybody in the crowd is going to go.
00:02:39:05 - 00:02:48:09
Meghan
How could you say that? But you were told to. The problem is that it actually happens. The problem is that that's how people act to each other. And we have to watch it.
00:02:48:12 - 00:03:10:12
Stacey
And I think we progressively got worse by watching those shows, because it then became okay to actually say, well, that's what people say. You just assume that that is how actually it happens when you go to, to go bridal shopping, you're just allowed to throw your opinion out, you know, at your sister, because you feel you should, or your friend because you're feeling you're entitled to your opinion.
00:03:10:14 - 00:03:32:24
Meghan
I mean, well, then the bride has asked these people to come with her because she wants their opinion. Right. But I think it's it's poor expectations on everyone's part. It's a poor expectation if the bride hasn't hasn't planned it. And like, you have to communicate what you want, how you want to feel, they but the people around you have to know you well enough.
00:03:32:24 - 00:04:04:06
Meghan
It's just it's so hard to watch because you want the bride to be happy, ecstatic, confident. All of them like empowered all of the big words. We want that feeling for her. And then to watch somebody just just squash her with something insensitive or thought like poorly thought out. But if you don't communicate what you want from them, maybe they think that they're helping.
00:04:04:08 - 00:04:28:01
Meghan
Her. How many times have we heard someone in the party say like, okay, I'll set the scene so the bride has found a dress. She loves it. Everything's perfect. She's crying and it's an ecstatic moment. But we feel that rush. They feel that rush. It's a beautiful moment. Yeah, which is what weddings are, which is what our job is to have.
00:04:28:01 - 00:04:42:09
Meghan
Those moments when a girl finds her dress and she feels confident and beautiful and everyone sees that. And I'm not saying that the people around her don't see it, but then someone says, we don't have to decide now and what?
00:04:42:09 - 00:05:12:06
Stacey
And and you know what? You're completely right. You don't have to decide now, but what you have just done is taken away that amazing moment, that high, that energy and everyone's feeling the feels and it's feels so great. And then that one person has to say something and it all comes crashing down to the poor bride goes oh yeah, oh, and you watch her deflate the amount of time you watch brides come out of that and be like, no.
00:05:12:06 - 00:05:23:04
Stacey
Yeah, you're right. I should think about it. And that was saying, don't think about it. But but, you know, finding your wedding gown is such an emotional thing. It's an emotional process.
00:05:23:06 - 00:05:30:19
Meghan
And you need you need to dress like you came for a dress. We're not salespeople, and we're psychologists most of the time.
00:05:30:19 - 00:05:33:17
Stacey
Most of the time we we.
00:05:33:19 - 00:05:39:21
Meghan
She needs a dress. We're not forcing something on her that she doesn't need. You are 100% correct. Could she think about it?
00:05:39:22 - 00:05:43:15
Stacey
Sure. But it's an emotional moment.
00:05:43:17 - 00:05:52:21
Meghan
You have to feel the emotions and allow her to to feed into that. Because that. What if. What if you did that on her wedding day? Can you imagine?
00:05:52:23 - 00:06:15:20
Stacey
Imagine that through in the morning, like you're getting dressed, you're already in, you're excited, and somebody goes, yeah, well, your butt looks big in that dress. And you know, I'm excited for that one. Not that one wild me Like anything about your body image by somebody else, especially somebody else who is the same size as you. So something's wrong about your body.
00:06:15:22 - 00:06:24:04
Stacey
It just as a human. It's real hard to hold your tongue sometimes.
00:06:24:06 - 00:06:57:14
Meghan
It is a major struggle. Yeah, for the girls who do the appointments. Because watching someone watching someone say negative, negative things in their personality about their body image just it's hard. And it makes us as you because we are the other girls here. Our team is. They're incredible. They're loving their caring. They're beautiful people. But when they have to watch someone just jab and knife in somebody's heart because because of their own fear or their own anxieties or their own feelings, you can have your opinions. Sure
00:06:57:15 - 00:07:14:07
Stacey
Just just just just just just think about maybe I mean, I guess this is just what I have to think about. If it was you staying on that pedestal in the dress and you loved it and you were so excited and somebody said that same thing to you, would you be okay? How would you feel? How would you feel?
00:07:14:08 - 00:07:30:15
Stacey
I just don't think anyone would be okay. Being like, yeah, my butt does look really big right now. And, yeah. And and some people are confident that some people are strong enough to be like, maybe it does. My partner loves a big butt end story.
00:07:30:17 - 00:07:31:06
Meghan
We've heard that a.
00:07:31:07 - 00:07:41:03
Stacey
Lot of we've heard that a lot like it's that makes us feel real good when the bride is able to stand up for ourselves. secretly inside me said you can
00:07:41:07 - 00:08:00:14
Meghan
go girl. Yes! but where's the comment coming from? I suppose it's the like. Are you saying it out of you saying it out of some kind of negativity? Do you think you're protecting? because a lot of the comments that that aren't necessarily negative, like we've said, you you can wait. You need to think about it. Those kinds of things, they're coming from a protection.
00:08:00:16 - 00:08:20:11
Meghan
Totally. Which is great. But this is where I'm saying that the the conversation ahead of time has to come in because the bride has to be confident, capable enough to say, I'm going to find the wedding, go. I want to feel ecstatic and beautiful, confident, and I need you, my people, that I'm choosing for this incredible moment with me.
00:08:20:11 - 00:08:41:12
Meghan
I need you to say things like, how do you feel? Do you feel like a bride? Do you want to walk down the aisle in this dress? Would partners name love this dress? Yes, you need to. Like you have to think about what you're going to say. So I guess this is education. More on everyone's part, bride Included.
00:08:41:14 - 00:08:51:14
Meghan
But these are things that we have to say in the background, because it's our job to make her feel confident and beautiful, to find this dress that she's going to wear on her wedding day.
00:08:51:16 - 00:09:14:00
Stacey
Let's say the bride's in her dress. She found it. She's in tears. Everyone's super excited. Everyone's like, you know, do you feel good? All the questions that Meg said. You ride that high with her because you got to remember, this is a core memory. What's happening in this building probably will stay with the bride for the rest of her life, and maybe with you.
00:09:14:02 - 00:09:32:19
Stacey
So you ride that energy with her and she says yes, and everyone's excited and everyone's like, cheering. And then you pop bubbly if that's something that you want to do, but you are everyone's right in that and it feels so good. It feels so good for everybody, not just the bride. People are crying and it's a good cry like, this is great.
00:09:32:19 - 00:09:55:14
Stacey
This is all the emotions and it's wonderful. And then you get to leave a most time People leave and they'll go have a bite to eat or they go somewhere to celebrate. And so this is a whole experience, but it can be come crashing down with one person saying something like, you should wait. You should think about this.
00:09:55:16 - 00:09:59:19
Meghan
I don't love it. I don't love it. It's not your thing, but it's not.
00:09:59:19 - 00:10:12:07
Stacey
It's not your dress. It is not. You have your time in the sun to shine when you get married. And at that point, you can love your dress and nobody else has to love it. It's not anybody else's dress. It's yours.
00:10:12:09 - 00:10:30:09
Meghan
So, I mean, very perfect scenario. Stacey and I would never trade clothes. Never. We are sisters and she probably stole my clothes when I was little. I don't remember, it's possible, but we would never wear the same thing, so I'm not going to be like, I hate it. Don't wear that. It's her choice.
00:10:30:11 - 00:10:39:05
Stacey
She did fine. She does say, I don't never say hate. Wow. I never say, hated, that's a no. You're like, wow, that's a that's a choice.
00:10:39:07 - 00:10:40:19
Meghan
Well that's an outfit there.
00:10:40:21 - 00:10:41:15
Stacey
But I'm also confident
00:10:41:17 - 00:10:42:15
Meghan
I see what you're doing there.
00:10:42:15 - 00:10:59:17
Stacey
That's that's also though. Me being confident I have to be like I don’t care that's cool. Like, you know, why did I like it? It's a flashy It's whatever. Have you like. Yeah. It's good. You know what I'm confident of? To put on whatever I like. I really don't care what anybody else thinks, what I like.
00:10:59:17 - 00:11:19:06
Meghan
So I mean, this is it. So it's on everyone's part of the bride us to be prepared. She has to know what she wants. You have to communicate what you want, what you want for the people that you bring with you. Yeah. You have to understand that what you're looking for is a feeling. Yeah, there are people that are analytical, and you may not have that feeling that people don't always have that Aha moment
00:11:19:10 - 00:11:34:16
Meghan
Don't expect that Aha moment if that is not you, if you do, great. But you have to know your personality too. So if you're analytical, it'll tick the boxes. You'll want it to be this, this, this and this. If it ticks all those boxes, then that's it, then that's it. It's not going to be a sky opening.
00:11:34:16 - 00:12:01:02
Meghan
Oh my God moment it'll be. This feels right. Correct. So you have to know who you are. You have to know the people that you bring with you. Everyone has to be prepared because this should be an incredible celebration secondary to only the wedding in this process, as far as I'm concerned. So let it happen. Be prepared for it to make it the best thing you possibly can and let that moment happen.
00:12:01:02 - 00:12:09:16
Stacey
Enjoy it. Enjoy that moment . Enjoy that process. yeah. Yeah, totally agree This isn't a TV show. It's your life.
00:12:10:00 - 00:12:11:09
Meghan
will not script your family?
00:12:11:09 - 00:12:18:10
Stacey
No, we're. No. Absolutely. We'd be the nice script. Be like.
00:12:18:12 - 00:12:30:09
Meghan
We'll give you cue cards when they walk in the building. So, mom, these are your cue card these are things that allowed to say sister!this is. This is yours. that would be really funny.
00:12:30:11 - 00:12:57:23
Stacey
Yeah, may touched on it quickly about. Generally, the comments are fear based by other people. So, mothers and friends saying, you know, I think you should think about it. It's just a fear thing of actually jumping into something, taking a leap, doing the thing. and, and it doesn't only happen. I mean, find the wedding gown finding your wedding gown, but it also happens in life.
00:12:58:00 - 00:13:23:21
Stacey
Happens all the time. we’re fear based on a lot of things, we hear all the time business we've heard in most of our lives. And maybe that's what it just does. I mean, it does phases for certain things. And I guess. That's part of the reason why we do this podcast or do anything that we do. Because the amount of times that we've been told, no, you shouldn't, you can't.
00:13:23:21 - 00:13:26:19
Stacey
I think you should do that. Maybe you should wait.
00:13:26:21 - 00:13:44:19
Meghan
If it doesn't, it's not just bridal like we've been really harsh on bridal so far. It it's a large part of our role and a large part of our business. Totally. Yes, yes, but it is. It's it's life. It's us choosing businesses. It's us making crazy decisions that that people are afraid of. Yeah. When we hear, don't. You shouldn't do that.
00:13:44:19 - 00:13:47:23
Meghan
Oh, don't don't do that. Don't start that business that.
00:13:48:00 - 00:13:58:21
Stacey
That's crazy. You you are. It's like then you won't make any money doing that. Have a hard time at that those ones where I'm like watch me.
00:13:58:23 - 00:14:02:14
Meghan
Thankfully, Stacey has a I don't even know what complex that is.
00:14:02:16 - 00:14:09:21
Stacey
But I don't know. You're a therapist. You can let me know. How about it's it's what he says. Don't do it. I'm like, oh, okay.
00:14:09:23 - 00:14:36:12
Meghan
Okay. Watch me watch. which comes in really handy. It's it's, it's needing that support in that, that community from the people around you. So. And it may not be able to be your family. Our family is they are incredibly supportive. They are also fear based sometimes a lot of the time. So we have heard a lot of those comments.
00:14:36:14 - 00:14:54:15
Meghan
We sometimes it's up to us from doing what we were planning to do. It do maybe, and sometimes maybe it was a good thing that we didn't do that thing we're growing to. But you have to find the people that will also dream with you and support you in the growth. Not from a fear perspective, but from a possibility perspective.
00:14:54:17 - 00:15:02:02
Stacey
Let may be more like, I wouldn't do that, but if you guys are going to try that, good for you. I'd rather hear that.
00:15:02:04 - 00:15:11:16
Meghan
Or oh, that's an interesting idea. Have you thought about these aspects of it? Yes, because because growth still mean is not like just do whatever you feel.
00:15:11:22 - 00:15:15:01
Stacey
Sometimes it I was like, it's that
00:15:15:03 - 00:15:19:21
Meghan
That's why Stacey's here.
00:15:19:23 - 00:15:38:07
Meghan
no. I mean, like, it's not conspiracy thought behind it. Yeah. So it's not like it can't, there can't ever be a comment or there can't ever be opinions. The other there has to be, which is people's opinions all the time. Yeah, but from a place of support, growth and honesty and and all of that. So it it's all, it's all life.
00:15:38:07 - 00:15:53:23
Meghan
It's it's business. It's personal growth. It's it's all of it. The way that we're harsh on bridal is because we see it every day. Whereas in business we've heard those comments, we've been through that we've been told, don't do that. And we still are. We still are. We don't take it as personally anymore.
00:15:54:00 - 00:16:12:21
Stacey
No, definitely, definitely don't take this personal anymore. But but I think that confidence comes from the amount of times that you just you make that promise to yourself that you're like, no, I'm going to do it because I want to do it. And then you push past you fear, you push past like all the negative comments and you do it.
00:16:12:21 - 00:16:17:20
Stacey
And then when you get to the end and you're like, I did it and you believe more in yourself.
00:16:17:22 - 00:16:50:09
Meghan
it's creating the confidence. It's the self esteem and the empowerment. So that's what we want to do, right? That's why we're here doing this. That's why we're trying to spread the those words and spread that feeling. create that community. Because we've been through this for so long. and in the very beginning of our business, just like in the beginning of a bride's journey, finding your dress, in the very beginning of our business, we needed someone to be there who had been through it, who had done the business, had grown the pieces, knew what to do, and we were never able to find the people that knew.
00:16:50:11 - 00:17:03:00
Meghan
We looked for mentors for years, years and years and years. We we, we still struggle with. We have a few we we are creating a community. Yeah. And that's what we want to do.
00:17:03:06 - 00:17:29:05
Stacey
Essentially, what we're doing now is trying to be the people that we needed as children. Yep. Whether or not it's in the business world, whether or not it's as a friend to you, whether or not it's on all aspects, because I know damn well I needed very strong, independent woman who would have been there for me to show me.
00:17:29:07 - 00:17:30:01
Stacey
life.
00:17:30:03 - 00:17:34:14
Meghan
Make your decisions and make your mistakes you smart about it. Yeah. but go for it
00:17:34:15 - 00:17:42:13
Stacey
But go for it, go for it. One life. So I get. But why on earth are we just staying stagnant?
00:17:42:14 - 00:17:44:20
Meghan
Well, we don't have a.
00:17:44:22 - 00:17:50:16
Stacey
I said the royal we It’s a rhetorical question
00:17:50:18 - 00:18:10:23
Meghan
And again, it's not to say that we didn't have the support of the background like we did. We had the family. but we didn't have the business support, which is what we needed. We didn't have the background because we didn't we didn't train in it. We weren’t trained in business, in running big businesses, not at all
00:18:11:00 - 00:18:31:05
Meghan
So we've been making it up as we go, making mistakes, obviously. Lots of them. so that's where our need was and where my need comes in for sure. But same thing now that we've been, I don't know how many, three decades in the wedding industry. Yeah, we would love to see that kind of support in wedding gown shopping as well.
00:18:31:05 - 00:18:41:22
Meghan
In planning your wedding, like in all aspects of wedding and hall. Yeah, I would love to see that kind of support with something we do, we do, and I'm be really hard on it.
00:18:41:24 - 00:19:02:12
Stacey
We do see it. It's it's better than it used to be. But I think also people are a bit more, thoughtful as to who they're bringing with them when they come. I think it's become more of a thing or bringing less people. So there's lots of opinions. yeah. So it has gotten better.
00:19:02:14 - 00:19:06:07
Meghan
It's gotten better. Yeah.
00:19:06:09 - 00:19:12:08
Stacey
I guess we're just extra triggered by the people who still have opinions.
00:19:12:10 - 00:19:14:12
Meghan
Opinions are great. Supportive of opinion even better
00:19:14:14 - 00:19:31:13
Stacey
Supportive of opinion even better. Yes, yes. So I guess, I would say when planning your wedding process, but it isn't just a random process. It's your entire life. It's what you watch, what you what you feed your brain that.
00:19:31:15 - 00:19:53:19
Meghan
We all know that what we what we bring in, what we allow ourselves to feel or like. What you read, what you watch, what you take will have an impact on your personality, on the way that you think there. There's so many things about, manifestation and affirmation in the way that we talk to ourselves. They're hugely important.
00:19:54:00 - 00:20:22:23
Meghan
So why you can make the concerted effort to follow, social media outlets that or specific people, creators on social media who are empowered, who show confidence, who answer questions, who would show you how to run a business. Like there's so many niches, there's so many. There's so many things you can learn so much if you set your mind to finding the right, the right aspect to watch, you can also choose not to do that.
00:20:22:23 - 00:20:44:03
Meghan
You can choose to. There's there's lots of funny stuff, obviously. Sure, but there's lots of stuff that could bring you down because you're only watching the negativity, which is why regular news outlets have had a bad rap lately. Because it's just negativity, I agree. So you have to be really careful in the same way that you want to create your community, you have to be really careful.
00:20:44:03 - 00:21:01:17
Meghan
Like I have so many times I said this, you have to be really careful with who you bring with you into a building. Be careful who you let into your life. You have to be careful with what you watch, what you intake. We've had with how long has it been that we've been watching? business. Just like business TikToks.
00:21:01:20 - 00:21:04:02
Meghan
What people did to grow business.
00:21:04:02 - 00:21:23:19
Stacey
YouTube, that and that whole thing started. We started watching YouTube business tutorial things and people in business. And it was, yeah, like that's I think how the whole thing started. And so now we're most of our feed is only that we pass back and forth means, but generally they're about business or business owners or me making passes for their.
00:21:23:19 - 00:21:41:15
Stacey
Yeah that happens a lot too. Yeah. It one sorry. Yes. sorry. yeah, it's it's a lot of what, whatever you're putting in is so important. So that's good stuff.
00:21:41:17 - 00:22:02:06
Meghan
And that's why we're doing this. We create a community, create the support. If you need that support, we're here. This is a this is a like a worldwide capacity. It's not we are happy to help people that we know that are local. We're happy to help you no matter where you are. And if follow us, follow the follow for the ride because we'll help help out where we can.
00:22:02:08 - 00:22:13:07
Stacey
And if we can't help, maybe we know somebody who can help. Or maybe there's somebody else in the comments who can help you. So this is what the whole community thing is. So follow subscribe. join the community.